


Guardian Alien

by ClassyFailure



Series: Guardian Aliens [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alien Invasion, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe, Caliginous Romance | Kismesis, Flushed Romance | Matesprits, Interspecies, Interspecies Romance, Multi, Older Characters, Older Man/Younger Woman, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-13
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-01 09:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1043467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClassyFailure/pseuds/ClassyFailure
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And as the beam of light washed over him, Sollux’s voice crackled to life in his earpiece. “You ready, kk?”</p><p> </p><p>He chewed on his lip, watching her sleep for a moment more before he was boarded onto the ship. He was looking down now at the cold metal of a well-crafted Alternian space vessel. His little alien love of just twenty-three human years was lying back on her home world while they flew off fleetbound.</p><p> </p><p>“Never am, Captor. Never am.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. ACT 1 : PART 1

 

* * *

**ACT 1** _  
_

_An Imperial Ban  
_

  
** PART 1 ** _  
_

* * *

**  
**

_Planet Earth_

 

Planet Earth. The blue marble planet that hung in the sky third from it’s sun. A small planet whose perfect distance from it’s little star made it the ideal candidate for life.

and the ideal picking of Her Imperious Condesce’s next colony.

 

The invasion began when Karkat Vantas was about seven sweeps, new to the fleet and eager to learn from his superiors. He had boarded his ship, The Harvester, with high dreams of being a Threshecutioner in the favor of his Empress.

 

When it was discovered that Earth had lifeforms of an intelligence similar to Alternians, the first goal was complete annihilation of this dominant species, then stripping the planet of it’s resources and flooding it. Thousands died in the first wave. It was really easy, killing them. The ‘president’ of a rather large nation had offered to host the Empress in a formal meeting in the nation’s capital city. An offering of peace. Upon arrival he, and thousands of others who had come out to see this progressive step for their species, were burned in minutes. No survivor in the area. A majority of the city fled, thinking they were safe. Militaries shot up nuclear missiles, only to lose them in the vacuum of space. The next wave killed millions. It seemed that for these ‘humans’, there would be a matter of days until total species annihilation.

 

Until Feferi Peixes put a big hole in the Empress's chest.

 

Until she picked up the crown from the still-warm body of the Empire’s longest ruling leader.

 

Then it was banned to step foot on planet Earth. No firestorms from above or total slaughter from the ground. All ships were to bypass this particular planet and continue onward.

 

To this day, nobody is entirely sure as to why she chose this particular planet to skip. She did not rule with the same iron fist that her predecessor had, but she still had the cruel Tyrian wrath that came natural to her caste. The empire, which had been stretched as far as possible, was to retract it’s borders. Come back a little closer to home, closer to her lusus which she cared for greatly. Only approved militia ships were to branch out, and they were only allowed to fight off threats to the empire’s grip on it’s corner of the universe.

It was during the recall that he laid eyes on Jade Harley. About half his height and a few sweeps (which the humans divided into shorter years ) younger, the little Jade was standing amidst the chaos of the ruins of this Californian city. She was sniffling, scared, calling out for a ‘Grandpa’, which Karkat assumed was the name for her lusus.

 

He was not far away, maybe a few feet, and she was not looking at him. But the little crying girl surrounded by angry humans and fleeting Alternians had his attention. Although Empress Feferi had made it illegal to harm the humans while retreating, many trolls were bashing a last few heads in, getting their last ‘huzzah’ before reboarding the ships. He watched as strife specibi flung out of moduses and down onto the heads of yelling humans.

 

She cried out, screaming for a lusus that did not come. Karkat watched as a troll tripped over her, sending both of them to the ground. He watched as the troll cursed this little human wriggler and pull out his weapon, raising it for her head.

 

The familiar pop of ozone and the slicing of air and flesh ripped in seconds as Karkat pulled his sickle out and took the trolls hand off.

 

Whoops.

 

Protecting a human was not a favorable action, especially if it involves hurting a fellow Alternian. He quickly reached down and scooped up the blubbering little girl into his arms. He was seven sweeps to maybe her nine human years, but he was not strong enough to make this a very efficient escape. After running a few yards he dropped her, grabbed her hand and dragged her along as he ran. She screamed, trying to break free, calling for her Grandpa.

 

“SHUT UP” he yelled over the chaos and commotion, regretting instantly the decision to save this tiny crying human girl. He needed time to think, but it wasn’t really a thinking sort of time, amidst all this nonsense and bullshit.

 

He pulled into an alleyway, squatting down to her eye level, frowning. “Hey. Hey listen to me.” she wouldn’t stop crying, wiping her eyes with her filthy little child hands. “Hey I said listen so will you kindly shut the fuck up?” she broke out into loud sobs, snot dripping out of her nostrils and down to her lip, where it flowed into her tiny mouth. He gagged. Human children were repulsive. “Oh fuck no don’t do that ugh that’s disgusting!” His comforting words didn’t console her. Instead they just sent her into hysteria. She had not once looked him in the eye, or looked at him at all, instead looking out into the street, her little green eyes behind large circle frames, all smudged, the lids around her eyes puffy and red and swollen with tears. She tried to say something, but choked on her own tear-induced hiccups. He gritted his teeth, rolling his eyes. “Okay, listen here tiny ape creature, you need to stop whimpering like some kicked infantile barkbeast or i’m going to-”   
  
“Grandpa!”

 

“Yes, yes, we will find your Grandpa Lusus, but right now you need to stop cryin-”

 

She broke off into a sprint, running right into the chaos of the street. He reached his hand out, reaching for the edge of her shirt to pull her back, yelling, ordering her to stop, but to no avail. She was gone, hopping over rubble and sidestepping past carnage rotting in it’s own blood, and straight into the arms of an elderly male. He wasn’t sure whether or not her Lusus would approve of her running off with another human. Then again, would her Lusus approve of her being in hiding with a troll?

 

The elderly human, whom she called “Grandpa” several times in an excited rush of sudden relief, looked at Karkat with a steady, even glare. So he was the lusus? Damn, humans were weird. But this Grandpa human seemed a little less weird and a little more dangerous.

 

The chaos that had surrounded them was settling as more and more Alternians were being beamed back onto their ships. Humans were flocking indoors, unsure of their safety, and waiting for the next signs of danger or a clear assurance that they were going to live another day.

 

Now it was just the young and suddenly very afraid Karkat Vantas, a happy little Jade, and her stern and terrifying. He was armed, with one arm protectively wrapped around the shoulder of his ward.

 

“You have a home to get back to, young man.” He said, not angry or resentful, but with a stern tone of a schoolfeeder. “I suggest you get back to it.”

 

Karkat nodded, reaching to his ear and using his earpiece to make contact with the ship. “Vantas, Karkat. Reporting in. Beam me up.”

  


* * *

 

 

_The HIC Host,  Fourteen Years later_

 

He had just been beamed back up to the small delivery shuttle that his two friends, Sollux Captor and Terezi Pyrope, had been watching over while he was down on the little blue marble.

 

That’s what they called it now, the three of them; the little blue marble. Every sweep, Karkat returned to the planet where the little girl was. In the four and a half sweeps since he first met the little human girl, Karkat had fought and climbed his way up the ladders of troll employment. Now, at just under fourteen sweeps, he had made it into the inner circle of the most revered threshecutioners in the empire. He was well known for his success on every mission he was handed, and was a well behaved imperial whipped beast.

 

They were now flying back to main fleet, Karkat sulking by one of the portholes, Terezi and Sollux getting a little grossly pale behind the wheel. He watched the stars light years away fly past, little meteor planets whizzing by with their bacterial life in little festering pools, or their little grey craters filled with nothing but dust. He thought about the halo of flowers around her head, the soft light of the earth’s sun. He loved seeing her in the light of the afternoon, when his people were steady asleep. It seemed natural on that planet, the sunlight. Everything thrived off of it. So different from his own home world and he loved it.

He loved her.

 

“Kk, you may want two snap out of that funk ‘cuz we’re coming in for landing”

 

He turned, his scowl of lovelorn bullshitty sorrow replaced by the scowl of the everpresent “fuck you” on his tongue.

 

“I can fucking see that. I’m not blind.”

 

“Offended!” Terezi cried from the other room, gasping as melodramatically and as loud as she possibly could, rambling on about triggers and her _sensitivities_. He rolled his eyes while Sollux snickered.  

“Well for those of you that can’t tell, I am rolling my eyes. There they go. Woah these bitches won’t stop rolling. Oh fuck they might just roll themselves some tiny appendages so they can flip you off.”

 

The ship boards on a much, much larger ship. It’s crawling with the young legislacerators of the empire, most being tealblooded, others being not too far off, but every single one of them thumping a code of laws and ethics, accusing and always on the hunt. Terezi walked back into the main galley where the two male trolls were. She was back in her uniform and ready to dive back into the fiercely cruel and unforgiving world that she had dreamed of since wrigglerhood.

 

They departed that ship and flew off to another, traveling more miles and miles to get to the comparatively small ship that housed the threshecutioners. Karkat felt his gut knot up and flip, his heart sinking to his stomach and rising into his throat.

 

The closer to the ship they got, the further away from that planet and that island and that field and Jade he would be. He wanted, needed, to turn back. But they didn’t.

 

Because as a lap dog of the empire, Karkat Vantas was not going to be caught breaking the rules anytime soon.


	2. ACT 1 PART 2

 

* * *

**_The HIC Thresh_ **

* * *

 

 

Traditionally, daytime was for sleep.

 

So why wasn’t he sleeping?

 

Days had passed, then they wrapped themselves into weeks, and in a month he was still all storm-tossed over his little Harley.

“L4CK OF SL33P W1LL 4FF3CT YOUR WORK P3RFORM4NC3 4ND 1F YOU H4V3 TO B3 CH3CK3D OUT TH3Y’LL WR1T3 YOU UP FOR CR4ZY.”

Terezi had said, cautioning him against constant restless nights. His respiteblock was his and his alone, thank fuck, but the sounds of his neighbors seeped through the walls with no effort. By that logic, so did his noises of the morning. Tossing and turning all the way up until noon, when there would be a banging on his door with the threat of disembowelment. ‘You would think us on a subjugglator ship’ he thought to himself, looking up at the sleek steel roof that hung over  

 

He closed his eyes, scratching at the thick layer of black stubble along his chin.

 

“IF YOU DONT SH4V3 TH4T 1 W1LL PROJ3CT1L3 VOM1T 4LL OV3R MY BLOCK 4ND 1 W1LL DI3 FROM L4CK OF 1NT3ST1N3.” she had harped over a video call just days ago.

 

Behind his eyelids he saw nothing. Blank sleepless bullshit. Then, as if dynamyte been shoved into his cranium and ignited by a long match up his sniffer, a flash of Jade laying in the grass. Playing in her garden. Swimming in the crystal blue waters. Or in a late-night mind rattling fantasy. Her bare back, tanned honey and kissed by freckles, sleek and just a little diluted under the water. Her peals of sweet, light laughter filling the air like bubbles while she dived into the cold pools.  _Completely_ naked. Even in his own fucking mind she didn't know he was there. He thought about her floating on her back, the hot sun shinning down on her perfectly hand-sized and round breasts. The little curve of her stomach. That strange spot where her skin made a crater, something humans alone seemed to have. The soft sigh, light as fucking air, the whole universe curling around her- 

 His eyes slammed open, finding his traitorous hands fooling around under his waistband again, thick red splotches oozing up through the overworn pair of regulation cotton sleeping attire pants. He gave a little raspy chuckle, taking a minute to catch his breath, rubbing his bulge back into it's sheath with the palm of his hand, shaking his head at how goddamn  _easy_ he was. 

 

“I’d say go fuck yourself, Vantas, but you’re already trying. Little sleaze.”

 

He wiped the gross glop of self-produced reproductive lubrication (“fancy troll word for tentacle jizz” he murmured to the blank audiovisual slug screen), and scratched at the scruffy patches of coarse black hair on his chin, picking at the little bumps of irritation with his middle claw.

 

The clock on the wall was ticking very loudly. Quarter to five. He was up an hour before he needed to be, everyone else sure to be asleep. Maybe a few daytime janitors were still slopping around, but other than that he doubted anyone would be awake. On the small desk where his husktop charged, his palmhusk was freaking out. The screen was lit up and the damn thing kept vibrating as messages swarmed in. Karkat lifted himself out of the recuperacoon, the slime sticking to his skin. He stood under the trap for  few minutes, shaking the sleepless feeling from his head. With the water on as cold as cold, he tried to gauge the lead weights from his eyelids, the green swirling in the drain.

 

Back in his main block, a towel draped low on his hips, cold water falling from his thick mop of hair to his shoulders. He grabbed the palmhusk, tapping in the lock code and opening his messages. “Holy fuck”, he cursed under his breath. Thirteen new messages from Terezi. Crazy bitch was losing her shit over something. He locked the damn contraption, not feeling up for any of her psycho bullshit tonight. Lights turned on in the hallway outside his block, a few grumbly threshecutioners dragging their feet to evening meal. Someone banged on the door, shouting.

 

“Hey Vant-ass, you gonna stop palmin’ yourself and catch some food?”

 

He laughed, tossing the towel to the side. “Go fuck yourself, Aveant”

 

Karkat caught a glance of himself in front of the mirror. Tried on a little grin, decided he didn’t like it, and moved on. Grabbing a black undershirt and sliding it over the scars on his torso, Karkat heard the damn buzzer go off on his palmhusk again. While he fumbled for some pants to wear to dinner, he chucked the stupid thing behind his

desk. “Fucking christ, Terezi. Chill.” He walked out of the room and closed the door behind him, letting the husk buzz loudly in the empty room.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The food on the ship was terrible but filling, and his peers were loud and musky smelling. Packed tightly on this ship full of murderous and faithful Imperial soldiers was where Karkat felt he belonged. It seemed that on occasion, though, he’d imagine that Jade was here with him, eating the protein paste and doing morning workouts. When he’d zone out on this little fantasy, he’d look back down to find his plate empty and his tablemates snickering. “You can’t pay to doze off.” They’d remind him.

 

Shit didn’t taste good anyways.

When he made his way back to his block, prepared to get ready for daily physical training, he had completely forgotten about Terezi’s neverending pestering. He fished the husk from behind his desk, powering up the computer and searching through his emails. Boring. Boring. Spam. Boring.

 

He finally opened up his fucking messages on his palmhusk. What could be so damn important. He groaned. She used her fucking quirk like they were six.

 

“M4YD4Y M4YD4Y M4YD4Y”

“W3 H4V3 TH3 B1G3ST OF PROBL3MS”

“TH3Y 1NVOLV3 YOUR L1TTL3 HUM4N”

“TH3R3 1S SOM3TH1NG F1R3Y TRY1NG TO K1LL H3R”

“MR V4NT4S YOU 4R3 1GNOR1NG M3 4ND 1 4M T4K1NG M4JOR OFF3NC3”

 

What.

 

He flipped open pesterchum, pulled up Terezi and slammed the video call as soon as possible. When she picked up, he recoiled, backing away from the screen.

 

“Good holy fuck you are a wreck”

 

Her hair was tossed back into the saddest excuse for a headtail he’d ever seen. She was not wearing her hell black lipstick, or any sort of face paste, and it made her look ashy as all fuck. There was lots of whirring sounds in the background, and he heard Thollux’th lithp yelling something profane. She turned her head to the mobile camera, deep frown lines etched into her angular face. “Oh,” she said, her voice high and chalky, “look who decided to wake up and smell the caffeine.”

 

“Terezi what the hell is going on? And what’s happening with Jade?”

 

Sollux popped up behind her, his hair not gelled down. He wasn’t wearing any top and he was sweating profusely. “Ugh oh god were you two getting your sick fucking pale pail going on?”

 

Sollux smirked. “Don’t be obscene, KK. We’re not down with that.”

 

Terezi, very obviously agitated, rolled her globes, the light bouncing off of the thick sightless red as they spun. “Karkat we are on our way to kidnap you and I’m terribly not sorry but we don’t really have much explination.”

 

“So get that fine ass dressed!” Sollux yelled. Tho get that fine attthhhhh dretthhed.

 

They blipped offline, leaving Karkat with very little to work off of. He stared at the screen. Confused. Ten minutes ticked by. Twenty. The intercom above his head buzzed. Mallis, who controlled the departing and loading of all threshecutioners on the ship, told him he was needed on the HIC Host for an on-site job. He stared at the messages on his husk. Jade. In trouble.

 

“Hello? Vantas?”

“Yeah. Yeah,” his voice was hoarse, he was on his feet and scrambling for his uniform, “I’m on my way down.”

“Very well.”

 

Jade was in trouble and he was getting the rare chance to see her twice in one year.

 

 

* * *

 

 


	3. ACT 1 PART 3

**Planet Earth**

 

So things were really fucked up right now.

 

On the way to Earth, Terezi filled you in on the details. There was a lot of side information about useless Earth shit. Apparently the western coast of some country and the eastern coast of a bunch of other countries were spewing molten rock and lava all over the goddamn place and it just so happened that Jade was living at the base of one of these firehills and was going to die very soon.

 

When you were within range, Sollux beamed you down to the usual place. Filtration mask on, armor locked down and sealed, and sickle ready, you began to look for her the moment your heavy feet hit the ground. High in the air, ash and dark cloud billowed from the mountain. Across the bay from where you stood, Jade’s home sat vulnerable. There was a lot of jungle between you and her - you cursed Sollux for dropping you so far away. Minimal options were at hand, and you chose the fastest method. Sticking closer to the beach, which was mostly uneven rocks and terrifyingly large waves shaken awake from the trembling ground, you tore through the jungle and worked toward her. He slashed away at bright flowers and big plumes and leaped over boulders. The ground kept up it’s tremors, shaking violently to life, coughing all the vile from it’s molten lungs into the air. Through his mask, he could taste the air get hotter, thicker. Hours of training prepared him for crazy shit like this to happen, but what about Jade?

 

While he hacked down vines and crawled under fallen trunks he tried not to imagine finding Jade dead. Suffocated, maybe smushed under a collapsed part of her hive. Sure, he’d really only known her in short gasps. A few hours a year, maybe two times a year if he was lucky. It wasn’t strange he was risking his life, again, for some girl who didn’t know him. He came up to the base of her large, spiraling white hive, crashing through the jungle into more chaos.

   

She was outside, hiking a bookbag onto her back and shoving bottles of water into a small rowing boat. Her hair was wild, loose, falling down her back and riddled with tangles. Wearing sweatpants and a ratty old shirt with moth holes eaten in the collar, it was evident she’d only been awake for an hour or so. It was night here, after all, and from what he’d observed humans slept at night. He pulled down the mask from his face, his mouth curled down at the smell of sulfur and flame.

 

“Jade!”

For the first time since that day many sweeps ago, Jade Harley made eye contact with Karkat Vantas again. His blood pusher sank to the very pit of his gut. There was something dark and wild in her eyes, masked under the green. He was humbled by it. She was possibly the most exotic creature he’d ever seen, her tanned skin, strong shoulders, and dagger-shooting glare making him feel the smallest he had ever been.

 

“Who the hell - no, what the hell.”

 

He took a cautionary few steps forward, lowering his sickle. The bag was still on her shoulders, waiting for her to flee. She kicked the boat into the water, preparing to take off. “I don’t know who you are, but this place is going to hell. I suggest you get out.” He’d never imagined her so- so cold.

 

“Wait. Come on, hold on.”

 

She’d tossed her bag into the boat, putting one foot in. “Get. Out. You can’t come with me, I don’t have the supplies.”

 

“No, I need you to come with me.”

 

“What? No! Why would I -”

 

He came closer to her, extending a hand. Loud roaring filled both of their ears, and for a second complete fear overtook Jade’s expression. Eyes widened, sweat beading on her forehead, looking up at the sky. Karkat pleaded and the mountaintop exploded behind him. He was a dark and foreign figure, with alien features and a strangeness about him. “Please, Jade.”

 

“How do you know my name?”

 

He was ringed by fire in the sky as the volcano began to fully erupt. Jade grabbed his hand, and he pulled her close to his side. In a fleeting moment, she snatched her bag, and followed him through the trampled path he’d left. Once they were safe in the field where he’d been laying by her side just a short time ago, Sollux brought them back up, Jade’s home demolished beneath them.

 

 

* * *

 

  
  


Her bag fell almost as hard as her jaw when it landed on the ground. The ship, with it’s dim lighting and loud machinery, was comforting to Karkat, but clearly was totally foreign to Jade. Terezi and Sollux were waiting by a monitor, watching the island light up and burn down. Her home was swallowed by a wave of molten earth, every trace of her demolished.

 

“Holy shit.” She whispered, her hands balled into tight fists, her knuckles white. Sollux brought the ship back up past Earth’s atmosphere, placing them all back into the stars. Karkat was still holding on to Jade’s arm, his large grey hand gripping tightly onto the corded muscle of this wild girl. She didn’t pull away immediately. He watched her take in the ship, his gut churning with the full comprehensive knowledge of the complete fuckery he’d just committed. Terezi, however, was the first in the human girl’s face, sniffing loudly and obnoxiously like an excited barkbeast (she was practically gnawing her tongue off, resisting the very stupidly childish temptation to lick Jade’s face).

 

He let her arm go, overwhelmed with the sense of how fucking real this was. She was on the ship, with him, and she knew about the alternians now. He watched as her eyes examined Terezi in return, taking in the sharp horns and the sharp teeth and the sharp. Karkat moved to Terezi’s side, a total of two easy inches taller, and pulled her back.

 

“We are in soooo much trouble,” she concluded, flashing a quick grin towards Jade, “she will be the death of us three.”

 

“Take me back” Jade forced through clenched teeth, inching away from Terezi and Karkat, distancing herself. “Thank you for rescuing me, but I don’t need-”

 

“Sorry to interrupt!” Thorry to interrupt, Karkat could’ve punched his head in. “What? Just. Get us back to Earth.” He called back, turning his focus back to Jade.

 

In person, she wasn’t as..as goddess -like as he’d imagined. It didn’t stop the way he felt, really. She shifted in his mind a little, but it was kind of a damper to see her so dour about her rescue. Then again, did she really need rescuing? Surely she’d have been found, out there in the ocean. But what if she hadn’t. He shook his head, she was a survivor, she’d be fine. Once they returned her safely to her planet, maybe with a friend or relative, he would...find something to do about...whatever it was. That didn’t matter. He pushed it far out of his mind; some long-distance infatuation wasn’t totally important right now.

 

“-and that’s why we need to haul ass right fucking now.” Finished Sollux, furiously punching in coordinates and pressing the bright colored buttons on the controls. Terezi was standing by a porthole, grimacing, tapping her foot with growing unsteady irritation. Jade hovered over Sollux’s shoulder, watching the vast expanse of space unfold in front of her. “Wait, huh?” Karkat tried to pick up on what was going down. He’d only been out of it for a second or two and shit, he guessed the world was already coming apart.

 

“You were bugged, Karkat.”

 

He cursed under his breath, running a clawed hand through his matted hair and puffing out a long stream of air. “Fuuuuck” he groaned, remembering the call from earlier that night. No headphones, everyone back in their rooms. He knew that fucker Paltur had it out for him, guy never could stay off his bulge.. Douche. “Yeah. Bugged isn’t really the right word, but, someone probably heard us this morning.” Sollux nodded, his dry, tired laugh filling the metal chamber. Surrounding the ship were several smaller search-and-obtain ships, each filled with maybe one or two members of the threshecutioner ranks. The imperial stamp was painted in bright, fresh fuschia on their sides; Karkat swallowed hard.

 

Jade watched Sollux’s screen with a deep intensity, as though she’d steer them back to her home with just sheer determination alone. Terezi kept on with her taptaptap of the foot, making her whole body shake with it. If Karkat knew her and Sollux in the least bit, he figured when, if, they made it out, the two would be pasted together for a papfest that was worthy of high end pornography. And Jade after this would be home safe.

 

Well, not home persay. But back on earth.

 

A loud screeching sound ripped through the air: dusty speakerphones and a bad programmer. For five short seconds, the Alternian Anthem blasted, but two people fighting behind the loudspeaker mic cut the song before it could begin to run its real course. They bickered in a few hissing whispers. A superior barked some commands and someone’s grizzly voice roared to life, sounding odd and muffled in the empty vacuum of space.

 

“Hatch name, Karkat, symbolheight, Vantas. Threshecutioner, you have been accused of interfering with the Planet #3,462, locally known as Earth. You, and your comrades Terezi Pyrope and Sollux Castor-”  
  
“It’s Captor, sir-”

“Right... Sollux Captor , will be sentenced to death upon capture, without trial, on the highest crime of treason.”

 

There was a silence. Empty silence. Simple confusion. Jade’s mouth hung open a little, unfamiliar with the troll protocol of “guilty until proven dead.” They all kind of just sat there, waiting for invasion or an order. There was muttering over the rusty intercom and someone struggled to turn it off, the final cutout of the captain screeching orders to his crew. It was Jade, surrounded by strangeness in strange territory that was all, well, strange, who broke it in her fury. She slammed her fist on the microphone's receiver, her small voice bouncing in the cold metal tin can they were in.

 

“Last name, Harley. First name, Jade. Pleasure to meet you. Move the fuck out of our way, please! I’m going home!!”

 

Sollux tried to stop her, fruitlessly swatting at her with skinny hands as she yanked the steering handles and jerked them down, the whole ship diving past the mini fleet and the screaming of baffled troll adults erased by Jade’s. She let go of the handles, regretting her hasty escape as the ship kicked into full gear, rattling and shaking under the speed. Karkat grabbed her by the arm and pulled her away as Sollux tried to regain control.

 

“What did you press?!” He yelled over the noise.

 

“I don’t know! Something Alien.”

 

Everyone looked at her, the invisible dunce cap was especially pointy today. Sollux cussed under his breath, dug his gnarly teeth into his lips, and slammed the brakes, sending everyone forward towards the windshield. Terezi caught herself on his chair, and Jade found a soft spot to land on Karkat. Pushing his glasses onto his head, Sollux turned his pilot’s chair around to the two trying to untangle themselves.

 

“You ever fucking touch my ship again, I’m throwing you out.”

 

 


End file.
